April 5, 2013

the only constant is change

here in ontario we've been experiencing the longest-freaking-winter ever & to be honest it has left me feeling uninspired, bored & with an overall bad taste in my mouth (figuratively of course) i am longing for & quite frankly needing warmer weather. i know everyone here is tired of winter & is probably feeling the exact same way - 6 months of cold is about 4 1/2 too long! i need the change in season to feel like me again. 

& speaking of feeling like me...

i know i've been blogging my whole30 challenge here so some of you might be wondering how that turned out. well as of last thursday morning i had completed the 30 days - I DID IT!!! & it felt damn good...in more ways than just being proud of myself. i had a super indulgent weekend (both food & drinks) and man oh man did i ever pay for it. monday after lunch i started having the worst stomach cramps & pains that lasted well into monday evening. i decided right then and there that i never wanted to feel like that again & will be eating clean from now on. this is not to say i will never have treats or never eat something that isn't overly great for me but i will pick and choose my battles. eating clean makes me feel good on the inside & the outside, i do not miss having stomach problems day in and day out and the whole30 made me realize that it is possible to live tummy-problem free so i'd be crazy to eat things that didn't make me feel like the best person i can be, right? this change in my diet feels mostly normal after eating this way for a whole month now and although it is pretty expensive to eat this way (which is bullshit by the way, food-like products are so much cheaper...no wonder so many people are eating them!) i would much rather spend money on food that is making a positive impact on my body & my life than spending it on clothes, shoes, etc. a harsh realization but the fact of the matter is that i feel better than i have in YEARS & i desperately want to continue this feeling.

lately i have been yearning for more time. time to do things that make me happy, that make me feel alive. maybe this comes back to the whole 'needing spring' thing as i feel like everyone comes more alive in the sunshine.

+ more time to work on black&bronze pieces without staying up past my bedtime
+ more time to drink coffee & catch up on blogs
+ more time (& ok, warmer weather) to go for after dinner walks
+ more time to go to the gym
+ more time to read 
+ more time to figure out what i want to do, who i want to be and where i want to be doing that
+ more time, more time, more time

...everyone is always bitching about needing more time, aren't they? maybe what i really need to do is use my time better? hmm, there's an interesting thought.

...no, i'm pretty certain i need more time.