September 7, 2010

i cry when i'm happy, i cry when i'm sad, i cry when i'm stressed, i cry when i'm feeling overwhelmed. this girl tends to cry...quite a bit.

back to school...

i think the actual thought of that hit me last night and i became a little overwhelmed guessed it, cried. there are a lot of changes happening in my life, good ones of course but with any change, comes a little feeling of "oh my gosh" or "what am i doing?" and i had been go-go-go the last little bit that i hadn't actually had time to sit down and collect my thoughts on the changes that would be happening. well, last night i stopped for two seconds and i guess it finally hit me.

now don't get me wrong, i am super excited about starting college (& my new job in a few weeks) but there are always some nerves, especially since i have tried this school thing once before and it didn't work out for me...i know this time around is different as it is 100% my decision, i am paying for it completely on my own & maybe that's where the nerves are coming from because this is all me. however i am thinking positively, i'm excited to learn as sometimes i feel so (i don't want to say dumb) but...uneducated maybe (?) as i feel like i haven't learned anything new in over 3 years so i'm excited to have new experiences thrown my way & meet new people. on the other hand i'm scared to write my first essay (it's been over 4 years since i wrote one) and to do assignments and get marks back and do exams...omg, exams! haha. okay i better end this as i'm feeling positive right now and i don't want to bring that mood down. anyway, today is my first day of school. i don't have a new back to school outfit but i have a fresh outlook on life & i'm excited for the first time in a long time!